Personal and/or Professional

By myself
Took the train,
With a toddler,
In the rain.

Woop! Next time we might go all the way to Paris. This time we went to a play group just a few stops away. And I hadn't even had coffee.

What an empowering start to the day. Came home via the bakery and got lunch plus a pastry stash for Saturday morning (and perhaps a little something later this afternoon). Louis was exhausted as didn't quite manage to have a morning nap before we left. My experiment of giving him 'dinner' at lunch time was perhaps foolish today, but I tried. He threw only two or three pieces of omelette on the floor before  gave up and ate it myself. In the end he had cheese and fruit for lunch, followed by a piece of dark chocolate.

He's stirring now, though he'll probably go back to sleep. I just hope he's not hungry. I've been getting some writing done, between reading blogs and articles on line, and catching up on my coffee in-take (though I'm not feeling much of its effects.) I'm reading a bit about writing, about character and writing practice, and also about social networking and branding - using blogs, facebook, twitter, etc. to put yourself and your work forward... Feels like swimming in the deep end, with jeans on. I'm not feeling very buoyant. But I'm not drowning.

I have moved my 100 Days Project to a separate blog and it's got me thinking about splitting this blog again - about keeping the personal stuff separate from the professional and creative side of things. In the long run I'd like to use a blog to put myself out there as a writer, to publicize my books, to record progress, to collect ideas and tools, to discuss creative process... all that fun stuff. At the moment it's all woven into my personal narratives - and frankly, the creative process is also woven into my life: I'd hate to see that disentangled.

I'm wary of having so much personal information out there for the world to see, but at the same time I know that the 30-60 hits I get on most of my posts are probably from people who already know me, so I'm safe for now.

Perhaps I should just keep going as I am until there's an actual issue/problem.

Perhaps my mixed up combo of personal life and creative process is what makes this blog any good and I'd be a fool to change it.

Perhaps I just need a better title and a more professional layout... something my marketing-genius sister and computer-genius husband can probably help me with.

Perhaps I should just keep working on my 'real' writing and talk to my agent (when I eventually get one) about all this.

Thoughts? Ideas? Offers of help? Title suggestions?

No more potty photos? Oh, okay.

Yesterday, Today

Confession: I didn't write this yesterday, pen to paper, or fingers to keys, but I did have this conversation, some time before midnight... with myself...

Day 19: Bedtime blues.

Oh gosh. I didn't write my dialogue today.
You could get up - it's not as if you're asleep yet anyway.
I did write a few lines of conversation in my novel earlier. That'll do.


But it won't. I looked over that bit of the novel draft this morning and it's not succinct or interesting. So this little slice of my internal duologue will do for yesterday's 100 Days effort.

Today's effort, from a dry sandpit of inspiration... (not enough moisture to hold together a castle - did I take the metaphor too far?)

Day 20: Dinner Theater

Dad: Do you want to try this?

Toddler: puts out hand and takes slice of salami. After a moment's consideration throws it on the floor.
Mum: While you're down there there's lots of other food on the floor.



It doesn't help that most of the day I'm in the company of a toddler who doesn't really speak intelligibly. He has got 'ball' down - says it and means it consistently. Also 'nah!' when he doesn't want to eat the pasta dish I made just for him - a whole giant dish of cheesy pasta spirals with thin carrots and beans that he can manage with his four little teeth. These are all things he likes and eats... but no! Not any more. I made a whole lot of the stuff and voila! He doesn't like it anymore. Happily ate a bit of my quiche crust at lunch. And then some cheese, and strawberries. Well, on the upside, it's strawberry season! On the downside, I got two punnets and about half were either past it or well on their way. Made a smoothie from the ones that were threatening not to make it to this evening. Louis was happy to help me drink/eat my smoothie too. Did very well with a normal cup, though at one point he did start to shake it: very nearly carnage.

Strawberry smoothie went down a treat: strawberries, milk, yogurt, cream cheese and berry coulis. 

What's not to love?

Then after lunch he had another go on the potty. I really thought it was going to happen. Photographed the momentous occasion and all, but despite making all the right noises and facial expressions, he saved it all for the nappy.

The potty remains unscathed.

Went to the market this morning. We are well stocked with fruit and veg, and have a traiteur-made lasagna for dinner. Easy peasy. At two for 10Euro it's tempting to have this meal all the time. Usually, one month out from having a baby is the time to start stocking up the freezer for after the baby's born. I have three meals in there now, but frankly we can probably manage the walk to the market, or even one of the local traiteur's, for dinner-to-go when we need it. Tonight we're trying the spinach lasagna. Got us some canolli as well - like from The Godfather: "Leave the gun, take the canolli." I'm not sure if I've tried them before but I was standing at the Italian traiteur, waiting for the lady to slice up the salami, and I thought, 'hey, dessert! Done.'

Other highlights of the day:

Got a big box of pressies from a friend in the USA, including some baby girl clothes her little girl has grown out of - so cute! Minnie mouse, pink and purple, frilly in places... perfect!

Gorgeous hot afternoon so after our naps we went to the 'aire de jeux' - so did every other child in Antony. Good thing there are lots of other playgrounds in Antony.

Louis had a blast and seems to have escaped sans sunburn.

At one point he started walking around without a clear destination - just wandering, in circles or after the ball - this is progress! Kept falling and getting right back up again without pause. I'm so proud.

Oh, I should report back on last night's dinner - I tried out two new recipes.

Both were successful but probably not going on the regular roster. 

It was the first time I cooked duck and I'll definitely do it again. 

The cheesey puff was yummy but really a lot like a puffy cheese omelette. Too much work and too many dishes for an omelette.

Day 17: McRegret

- Guess what I had for lunch today. A McBaguette.
- You fool. Any good?
- The bread was alright.

Another day, another president.

We can't vote here, so we had a very a-political election day. Luuk made crepes for breakfast. So good with lemon and sugar.

We put together a home-made version of 'Carcasonne' and then played it a few times. 

We put up Louis' mural in his bedroom, and then Luuk went out for more velcro sticky things so that we could put up the last corner and fasten the bottom edge. 

More board games and tv, thus passed the afternoon. As per usual on a Sunday afternoon, we dragged Louis out of bed and forced food into him before heading off to church. The first sunday of the month means no kids program... which means entertaining Louis with food and toys, and trying to judge whether it is more or less distracting to other congregants if he reigns free or if we try restraining him. Tough call.

Speaking of judgement calls... it is election night and Francois Hollande is delivering his victory speech. Change begins now!

Today's dialogue for the 100 Days Project:

Man buying wine from a Caviste: (something I missed in fast, complex french...)
Me: Pardon, je ne comprends pas. Je parle un peu le francais.
(Sorry, I don't understand. I speak a little French.)
Man: Vous parlez anglais?
(You speak English?)
Me: Oui
Man: I said we will decide tomorrow, Sarko or Hollande. I will wake up in the morning, and then decide.


I'm not sure if he was serious or not. I suspect few would be so uncertain/decided but perhaps I am misunderstanding - it wouldn't be the first/only thing! We did drive past a guy waving his arms and yelling out in celebration on our way home. We asked the men in the Caviste who they thought would win. The Caviste told us that France is historically right-leaning, but that many people are hungry. In my meagre understanding, economic recession tends to push politics to the right, and yet in the 30s it was NZ's first Labour Government that pulled the country out of the hole. Perhaps (or certainly) I cannot safely generalise about these things, but I am curious to see how this will all play out. The focus of every debate is Europe and the economy. In my head Europe is such a big part of the world and yet they make up such a tiny part of a map on a globe. In NZ it is out of place, perhaps, to value Europe over other parts of the world, but here it makes sense. France's prosperity is entirely wrapped up with Europe. And the other way round - France has a responsibility, I guess. Their election is significant to the rest of the world in a way NZ's never is. And it is significant to a lot more people - even only within the country. NZers tend to have a little over-inflated idea of their own importance in the world but I wonder if our tiny-ness isn't a blessing.

Anyway, rant/monologue/indulgence over. Sunday night has started on a trend toward being Chinese take-aways night. During dinner we put on the Election coverage. This is how Louis felt about it...

I suspect he doesn't much like the sound of arguing.

Samedi

I do like leisurely at-home saturdays. Luuk didn't really have one - he went into Paris in search of un vélo. But Louis and I took advantage of the weather with a charming playground sojourn and brief trip to town (fresh fish for dinner and bread for lunch).

There was sand, sun and other kids to play with!

When Luuk came home again he had a little time with Louis.

Daddy is good for many things: reading stories,

for clapping with, and as a seat.

Louis had his afternoon nap and Luuk did more bike research (didn't buy one this morning - is reaching out to his uncle in the Netherlands, who is also in the know with bikes).

I read the end of one novel, downloaded some sample chapters of a few other ones on my kindle and looked over my own in-progress novel notes - trying to think my way through some plot issues and character consistency stuff.

Also did my 15th day of 100 Days - not last thing at night!

Day 15: True Love
- Sorry for being boring.
- I'm not exactly being scintillating... I kind of want to play 'Carcasonne' [1]
- No can do.
(later...)
- Oh my gosh, you're printing it off. I have cardboard we could glue the pieces onto!

[1] Carcasonne is a board game.


We didn't actually make the board game yet, but, inspired by the thought, walked to the game store we drive past all the time. Louis walked quite a bit of the way there, though he did have to touch a lot of the walls and plants on the way. We managed not to buy anything - because all the marketing was in French, we were being indecisive, and Louis was being a bit of a time-bomb.

Went to a caviste on the way home... and voila more exciting dinner!

What was going to be fish and risotto became fish and white wine risotto! Petit Chablis: not bad. 

Also stopped at monoprix (supermarket) for glue (for making that board game)... and voila more exciting supper! Luuk managed to limit himself to three different types of cheese to accompany the 'Confit de Vin de Gewurtztraminer' he brought home a couple of weeks ago... yep, that's a jam made with wine instead of fruit. (Although I have definitely been part of conversations where someone has tried to claim their grape juice based beverage as one of their 5+ a day.)

One other highlight of the day:

We're not serious toilet training, just trying to break down barriers from an early age. So far, the potty is unscathed, but how cute is this kid? Magazine and everything. At one point he was looking at the lingerie page in the catalogue, and then someone on the tv made a dodgy joke, and he laughed. 

They grow up so fast.

Staying put

Home for three days together - a marvel. Louis and I have successfully achieved very little. Mainly laundry and a slight improvement in health. There have been some epically long naps.

The first day we stayed home proper. We did not venture beyond the front door at all. Luuk got groceries, in his lunch hour, just so I didn't need to take Louis and his cough to the supermarket. Meanwhile, Louis and I watched television, read our way through all of his books, and raided the kitchen. Feed a cold, right? Louis had some making-up to do do after his appetite-less weekend. I was feeling tired and lazy. Did a blog post and a couple of loads of laundry but couldn't even be bothered cooking dinner. Luuk got stuck in phenomenal traffic but picked up pizzas - so we had take-aways, but late, and didn't do a french lesson.

Playing with new toys. Who says there's a right way to do it?

(Also in this photo: laundry)

The second day we ventured outside. Antony has a market, three days a week, and I like to buy our fresh fruit and veggies there. I also had enough motivational oomph to make Louis some veggie soup (stocking the freezer with baby food seems wise when a new baby and sleepless nights are impending) and do some laundry.

Unfortunately, I pulled the dirty laundry straight from our luggage and somehow a used (lightly, thank God) nappy got into the washing! Fluff from the inside was through all the clothes. So I had to shake it all out and then clean up that disgusting mess. Was already worn out but after that just wanted to curl up on the couch. Of course, Louis woke up around then. But he was angelic. He's still not well and the low energy levels seem to make him content to play by himself, or at least with me, while requiring very little movement/energy from me.

This kept him entertained for ages - hooking the hook into his t-shirt neck and then getting it out again...

We had deliveries - always exciting - and are now much more prepared for the arrival of baby number two, whenever she should decide to come. The new car seat capsule arrived in the morning and while I was out shopping I got some newborn size nappies! Still have no pink clothes, but plenty of newborn size stuff from Louis' infancy.

My favourite bakery is closed on Thursdays, something I'm afraid I moan about far too much considering how many other bakeries I could walk to easily... except that there's nothing easy about walking when you're seven and a half months pregnant. Anyway, yesterday afternoon I was such a pregnancy cliche: I was craving snickers bars and cheese. I had cheese, but no snickers. Louis was napping, so there was no popping down to the shops (though this far through pregnancy you just can't pop anywhere.)

Voila. Snickers replacement therapy. Louis' plain biscuits spread with nutella or peanut butter and sprinkles. Peanut butter and sprinkles ones were great. Nutella was a bit too sweet.

The weather improved in the later afternoon, which improved my mood, but not my energy levels. In my pregnancy with Louis,  I was super achey at this point, all around my hips - probably to do with being stretched out from the inside... I haven't been as bad this time around but it is starting.

Louis was good enough to entertain himself while I relaxed. He's been well-entertained by this free hand-out from the Singapore Airlines crew... still keeps him busy three months after he was given it! It is now torn into several smaller pieces and we've only kept a couple of the big bits.

Today there was no shopping list to force me out of doors, but I did have bakery dreams for myself and sandpit dreams for Louis. It dawned beautifully but Louis took AGES to go to sleep at his morning nap time, and when he finally did I couldn't bear to wake him. When he did wake the weather had packed in. I bundled him up and we headed out, hoping to catch a good half-hour in the playground before the rain arrived. But the rain arrived while we were in the elevator.

Nasty.

So we dashed to the bakery and back, had lunch, and then played at home. Louis had a go at walking again. Inspired, I took him on a walk down to the basement, to dump the rubbish. He's lacks confidence to walk without holding onto us/furniture. Holding onto one paltry finger he walks confidently and barely relies on my hand at all. Now to convince him he doesn't need to hold on...

It's the weekend - yay! Very little planned - Luuk wants to find himself a bike which will mean a trip into Paris, for him at least. This place needs sweeping badly. I don't think I'll manage both the RER and the broom in one day. Hang on to the edge of your seats, folks, and I'll let you know which way the cookie crumbles.

Day 12: TV's effect

- Do we have a new episode of 'Castle'?
- Yep.
(No further conversation...)

Some days...

Day 9: conversational patterns

Day 10: wake up call

- Mummy better wake up soon or she won't sleep tonight.
- I'm awake.
...
- Oh hello darling. Did Daddy send you in here? Yes that's the light switch. What a great game.

Day 11: Borderless, part 2 (or The joys of GPS, part 2)

GPS: Perform a u-turn where possible.
Driver: What? Oh man, I think we're going to Germany.
Passenger: Oops.
GPS: Perform a u-turn where possible.
Driver: On the motorway?

Day 8: borderless (a one sided conversation)

Hello? Belgium? The door was open so I thought I'd just come on in.
Oh, cool, I guess that was the idea.
Feels a bit weird helping myself to a beer though. Then again, if it's Belgium beer.

Day 7: an excerpt

I've been home, alone, with a grumpy and not-very-well baby all day. No surprise, I'm short on bright ideas for fresh material... but I did write a few lines of my novel draft. And this is part of it.


"Are you free to work the day after tomorrow?" Thomas got to the point.

"Yeah, sure, of course." I hoped I didn't sound too desperate, too available, though perhaps the impression, if he got it, would be accurate. I laughed, from nerves or something, and then felt the need to keep talking, to explain my laugh. And it was odd that another teacher had called me to arrange relief work. I said, "I'm beginning to think this principal is a figment of your communal imagination."

"He'd have called you himself but something's come up."

Day 6: Lest we forget

- Oh, hey, by the way, happy Anzac day.
- What? That's not a thing. What's happy about Anzac day?
- Oh right. What do you say then?
- Lest we forget.
- Good thing we remembered then.

Note: Anzac day was yesterday and is celebrated, or perhaps remembered is more accurate, in Australia and New Zealand, each 25th of April, to commemorate all the troops who've died in action around the world. The date is that of a massive defeat of our troops at a disasterous battle in Turkey during WW1.

Days 2-5

We got back from holiday late last night. We have 2 days at home before heading to the Netherlands, which means loads of laundry and some very limited grocery shopping. We had a wonderful time away, but that will be covered in my next post. For now I have four days of 100DaysProject to catch up on. I did them, I did! But posting was difficult without consistent cell phone coverage... So here we have it:

- Day 2: Just a game -

Player 1: Just think of the conversation we could be having right now.

Player 2: Yeah, what's that?

Player 1: If you'd put your piece there, then right now I'd be saying 'where would you like me to put this?'

Player 2: I'll tell you where to put it.

Player 3: Hey, we'd like to use these pieces again.

- Day 3: Weathered Icons -

A: Jesus is looking a bit rusty.

M: He probably wasn't looking too hot at the time.

A: C'est vrai.

- Day 4: Group decision making part 1: Restaurants -

Person 1: What do we think of this place?
Person 2: Oh yeah.
Person 3 shrugs and peers at menu.
Person 4: Looks good to me.
Person 1: It's not too expensive?
Person 2: Oh, maybe.
Person 3: As long as you just want to share a pizza.

- Day 5: Group decision making part 2: The Joy of GPS - 

Driver: So are we going to the beach?
Passenger 1: Looks kind of windy.
Passenger 2: Is there a park near here?
Passenger 3: Why are we going to the train station?
Driver: So that we had somewhere to set the GPS to.


Holiday photos to come - just a little teaser above :)

Day 1, running late (and good things to do with mozzarella)

I woke up this morning to find loads of already completed first-days, posted proudly onto blogs, and I realised: most of the 100 Days participants have a 10 hour head start on me...

Way to get me on my back foot. With that added pressure I headed off to coffee group, mind grasping at straws. Wit is so hard to come by. But, fortunately, wit was not part of my brief! I simply promised 'short scripts' or 'dialogues'. So here cometh day 1:

Confession: I had to check how to spell 'professor'. English teachers &/or writers with spelling issues - more common than you'd think.

And now for something completely different: have had a gorgeous hunk of mozzarella in the fridge and here are some of the scrummy creations that have resulted from its inspiring presence:

Pizza! Bellissimo!

Spinach Cannelloni!

(slightly over-dark on top but yummy, chewy, cheesy crust nonetheless)

We are off tomorrow on our bring-on-summer holiday, so have to eat the perishables between now and 8am tomorrow morning. I have a courgette - that could be nice with mozzarella grilled on top. Sounds good to me. Doesn't match the home-made fish and chips meal overly well, but it'll do the job.

Had another ultrasound scan this morning.

Bit blurry, but you would be too if someone took your picture through a placenta.

All is well, though the doctor had to give my stomach a right fierce prodding to get the baby to face the right way so that she could check the heart, brain, etc. Not going to be a tiny baby this time - already 2.3kgs, or so, and possibly 3.8 if she keeps growing the way she's going until full term. Fingers crossed she'll come a few days early. I'm thinking June 10 sounds good. Mum and Dad will be here, will have recovered from their jet-lag, and I'll certainly be ready to pop. Walking today was hard work. I'm very much looking forward to the freedom and comfort of not being with-child.

One last pic, for good measure...

Forehead, nose, mouth, chin... profile view.

She wasn't in the mood for a photo shoot, methinks.

Making plans

I'm a planner. Chronic. Following through, I have gotten better at (perhaps as my guilt complex has developed), but starting off with grand intentions - that comes so very naturally! And so I tend to jump at the opportunity to embark on a new challenge or project. Last year I took up the 100 Days challenge, along with a whole lot of others - to complete some kind of creative or design-based task every day for 100 days (this link goes to the Facebook page).

Thinking up brilliant creative things to do.

The trick is: it has to be the same task. My sister in law wrote haiku, I did 'images of Louis' (and so started this blog, in fact), others altered car number plates to say funny/rude things, designed dresses, all sorts!

This year I am up for it again (surprise surprise) and will be writing a short script every day. These snippets of dialogue will, I hope, be entertaining, revealing, interesting or at least very very short.

Person 1 speaks
Person 2 speaks
Person 1 or 3 speaks

Or something like that. It will be hard for me to keep it to that. This is going to be a challenge in culling for me! My inner editor needs the work-out. Nanowrimo-ers will have heard of the inner editor - that's the little monster that sits in your brain, or on your shoulder, or on your keyboard, and makes you feel rubbish when you're writing a first draft... usually stopping the unsuspecting would-be-writer from getting very far at all. Actually, inner editors don't just kill off writers. Any creative venture looks like dinner to them.

They're not usually very nice.

But they do have their place and purpose: editing!

I am currently working on the draft of a new novel and I'd very much like for my inner editor to have something else to focus on. So, here you go you nasty little coughandsplutter: edit the faff off of these little hardly hatched morsels. They're nice and juicy and fresh from my brain/life.

Yes, I will definitely be drawing on conversations I hear around me and probably even some that I participate in. Living in France, of course, I don't understand so many of the conversations around me as I used to. So I won't be able to steal all my short scripts from eaves-dropping.

Yes, some of these little scripts will probably have a word or two in french. I used to really hate this: In novels, when writers use french for no good reason (story not set in france and no characters are french) as if everyone did high school (at least) french, and just assume we all understand. I would refuse to look up the translation, just to show them. Hah! (Yes, I'm aware the writer would never know and as I'm already reading the book at this point, they got their cut and probably don't care much.) So... I will include translations if/when I do delve into my new foreign vocab. Promise.

Timing, being what it is (and Murphy having his hand in things again), we are of course off on holiday the very day after this exciting creative venture begins. On Friday I will write my first 100 Days script, and also pack five days worth of gear for Louis and myself (and Luuk... we'll see) into one suitcase, and I have an ultrasound in the morning. On Saturday we're off at the crack of dawn to catch a train... to a train, to a train, to the South of France! Hopefully the weather will be so amazing I'll have difficulty finding any time when I'm far enough out of direct sunlight, and splashing water, that I'm able to put pen to paper, or finger to smartphone as the case may be.

The victims/beneficiaries of my creative ventures. 

(This is what they are doing while I finish this post.)

Orphaned by my writing, again.

Louis, in his special place, his reading spot - with all the junk mail, under the table. 

Sometimes a man needs to be alone. Good thing too... ah, the neglected child.